Blurb It Bold: Rituals, Methods, and Blueprints

Essay #3! Rituals, Methods and Blueprints – Chapter 29 of The Complete Handbook of Novel Writing

Rituals and Methods

Hello again, fellow word floggers! It’s time for another essay on The Complete Handbook of Novel Writing, by the editors of Writer’s Digest. Let’s hear from James Jones first, where he posts a personal tidbit in the section of the Handbook entitled Rituals and Methods.

“I threw out the thesaurus years ago!” he says. It leads to stilted dialogue and clichéd prose.

So true!

It’s much better to own a big dictionary, he furthers, and use it to look up the definitions of various words and phrases. By actually reading a dictionary, you’ll learn the derivations of a word, and its history and regional variants. And of utmost importance, you can then decide for yourself what value a word has toward you and your writing.

Learning your own personal value of a word is a big step in finding your voice as an author. Is that big fat fifty-cent word the one you really want to use, and to be known for, or to expand your vocabulary? Or are you just touting fluff?

And yes. I have just now decided that saying touting fluff shall be a part of my vernacular. It has a yummy ring to it.

Don’t you think?

But back to our wise new friend, James Jones. I love reading the dictionary, and looking up words. And I read encyclopaedias, too! I do! Would you like to know what I recently learned from reading my dictionary? I learned that insinuate not only means “to infer,” but it also means “to work one’s way in surreptitiously.”

How about that?

And do you know what surreptitiously means? Well, if you don’t, then read a dictionary. And make it a BIG one, too, so says our friend James Jones.

Your Novel Blueprint

Karen Weisner has written over fifty novels. Fifty! That’s not just a lot of words—that’s a whole shipping container of commas, semicolons, and dramatic pauses. She’s generously recycled a handful of them into Chapter 29—Your Novel Blueprint—for The Complete Handbook of Novel Writing.

Which, as you may know by now, I very much recommend that you buy and read.

Ms. Weisner posits in her chapter that you don’t write a novel—you build it. And just like when you’re building a house, it’s important to have a checklist of the items your novel needs, all typed up, handy and ready. Following a checklist will ensure that your Big Idea—which is the heart of your story—rests on a sturdy foundation.

Having a Story Plan Checklist helps connect all the random thoughts and ideas you have floating around in your head to the things that are important to every novel. Ideas like: Conflict, Cost and Consequence, and Goals vs. Motivation.

Titles, Genres, and POV

Ms. Weisner first suggests that you think up some snappy Titles, and what sort of Genres you might like to explore. Don’t lock yourself in right away on any particular one. Just imagine where you might find your novel if it were being displayed in your favorite bookstore (which someday it will!) and think about how to express your Big Idea using a snazzy font and compelling cover!

Next pick a Point of View, and stick to it throughout the story! ‘Nuff said about that. This is a very important First Step, because the way you present your characters is how your message gets across. But remember—this is only a Checklist. There’s always some room for wiggle. Still, choosing a point of view is nigh near enough the most important decision you’ll make when you start writing your novel, and in more ways than just telling the story.

We’ll talk more about that later.

Start With a Blurb

Right now, after you have your Checklist, what you ought to do next (in my humble opinion) is get that first Blurb written.

Yes! Do it! Right now!

Remember, there is always room for wiggle. So try your hand at writing lots of blurbs, or at least more than one. And I know, I know—many novice novelists founder and flub quite a bit when along comes the time in their lives when they must describe what their story’s about. And this is quite the shame. How can you write a compelling story—hooking your readers at Chapter One—if you’re unsure or unable to explain what you’re trying to say?

A good way to hone your blurb writing skill is to write one single sentence that describes your story, preferably in Ten Words or Less.

In TEN WORDS –
– or LESS!
Do it now!

For example:

• The Life Factor — Hard Sci-fi about a Time Machine experiment gone horribly wrong.
• The Sinhalese Beauty — A Sci-fi Romance Horror, about the race to colonize Mars.
• SIX — Murder Mystery about a commando raid on a cruise ship.
• MIRЯOR — Kaidan drama about a maintenance man and a millionaire’s widow.
• Roxanne — DieselPunk Paranormal Romance on a train bigger than an ocean liner.
• The Ogre and the Huntsman — For the sake of their sons, enemies seek world peace.
• Angels in OZ — Mice overrun the Vatican, with the intent to destroy Mankind.
• Disney Sith Princesses — A Dieselpunk Zombie Apocalypse, where hilarity ensues.
• SHARK — A ghost horror story about a love triangle gone wrong.
• The Clockmaker’s Steampunk Elves — Steampunk Fairy Tale in the style of the Brothers Grimm.
• Stale Chalk — A classic haunted house story, written as three bardic poems.
• For the Love of the Mage — Fairy tale fantasy, about the battle between Love and Hate.
• In SO Many WORDS — A terrified virtuoso violinist seeks acceptance in a new land.
• El Factor de Vida — Two time-travellers are trapped in The Church of San Gerónimo.

As you may have guessed—and as Ms. Weisner advises—I’ve mastered this skill. I can write a blurb at the drop of a hat. So believe me when I say that it’s not an easy feat. But as Master Yoda may have once said, “Do or do not. There is no try.”

How do you expect to construct a compelling, page-turning, “house” of a story if you can’t describe to a potential buyer what your novel looks like on the inside? And more so to the fact, how it looks from different angles and perspectives, and from the different viewpoints of its cast of characters?

Within the scant few words of a well-written blurb, you will be able to “blueprint” for a reader, agent, or a prospective publisher who your Characters are, what their Goals entail, and how Conflict defines them.

You MUST be able to do this!
It WILL help you write better stories!

Lessons From Failure

I often impart Ms. Weisner’s advice during my travels throughout the Forums of Royal Road. But honest truth be told, I’ve been a champion of the wisdom found in Chapter 29 of the Handbook for many years.

If you recall my first Bardic Planet post from July 27 (Write It Ugly), you’ll know I’ve spent decades haunting creative writing clubs and forums. Back then, though, I still couldn’t finish a novel. Enter my good friend and accomplished author, Eileen Gormley. She offered to help with my prose and asked me to email her a synopsis—just a simple outline of what my story DOTS was about.

Now for those of you who are in the know, a great big ol’ synopsis is a lot harder to write than an itty-bitty blurb. And I found at the time of Ms. Gormley’s request that I could not do either.

I had never been so embarrassed. I apologized profusely and, with she being my friend Eileen, she scolded me most soundly.

And she was absolutely right. Her tough love saved novice-novelist me from enduring the brutal struggle of trying to write a compelling story without first learning how to write.

So thus, my quest began. I became demanding.
I must learn how to write a synopsis!
I must learn how to write a blurb!
And I must learn how to describe what ANY story that I choose to read or write is about—and how to explain it in different ways.

I’ve already shown in my prior essays how finding and reading The Handbook made me a better writer. But to a finer point, Chapter 29 by Karen Weisner is the chapter that saved me the most. I’ve become so enamored with what she says that I champion her wise words at every chance I get.

Which for you, my gentle readers, I shall do right now.

The Rules of a Good Blurb

To re-emphasize a point, a synopsis describes the whole of a story, plot and denouement and all, in a Cliff Notes sort of way. And when what you want is a blurb—which is the teaser you write for the back of the dust cover—here, in as few words as I can manage, are the key points to consider:

• Third Person
• Present Tense
• No World Build
• Few Adverbs
• Short Sentences
• End With a Hook!

And here are specific guidelines. If these simple rules are followed, you’ll be able to write impactful blurbs with ease—for any story you choose, and not just for your own. Just like how there are rules to follow for writing a good sentence—and for paragraph structure and plot—knowing the proper structure for a blurb will make your story sound interesting, and easier for you to write!

So what are these rules? At its core, a blurb should do five things:

1. Introduce at least one character (but no more than three) and state their goals.
2. Highlight a conflict—any conflict—and spell out the stakes. What’s at risk? What could be won?
3. Hook the reader with intrigue, uniqueness, or danger.
4. References a conflict (any conflict!) in the story and comments on the stakes. What might be lost? What could be gained?
5. Creates interest with intrigue, uniqueness, and danger.

Another way to think about a blurb is as literary Mad Libs. Just fill in the blanks:

[CHARACTER] wants to accomplish [GOAL], but [CONFLICT] blocks the path. To succeed, they must cough up [COST]—or else [CONSEQUENCE] comes crashing down like a piano in a cartoon chase scene.

Of equal importance is what a blurb ought NOT contain:

1. Avoid generalities, banalities, opinions, and redundancies.
2. Do not explain made-up terms. (Try to avoid them entirely!)
3. Do not use weak (passive) verbs.

Also, be sure to use simple punctuation, strong nouns, and action words, to cut down on your precious word count.

Conflict, Stakes, and Care

So with that stuff in mind, take a good look at your story. Focus on a conflict. Who is involved in it? What are the stakes? Why should we care? What might be lost? What could be gained? Who among your characters is affected the most by this one particular conflict, whether it be the MC or not, and whether the conflict is resolved in their favor or against them?

A final point I’d like to make is that employing a passive writing style will kill a good blurb—and a good story, as well! People sometimes confuse a passive style of writing with the grammatical definition of a passive sentence, so I like to clarify this point by saying that the verbs you use should be dynamic, and the modifiers impactful. If you can do the verb in a sentence while sitting in a chair and not moving a muscle, then the sentence is not dynamic, and the writing style is passive.

This next sentence is critical—burn it into your brain: Do not explain your entire story. Nobody wants a 500-word blurb that reads like the Wikipedia Plot Summary of Doom. Instead, showcase one thing. One moment. One spark that proves your story is exciting, dynamic, and worth the price of a reader’s attention span.

Make us care!
You can do it!
I have faith in you!

(Bard-in-Chief note: Personally, I have significantly less faith in you. But hey—let’s humour R.D and pretend you’ve got this.)

Sparks and Surprises

Okay. Let’s talk about something else that Ms. Weisner points out in her chapter, and that I like to tout all the time. Every story should have three to five events which she labels as “Sparks.” These are moments where the readers get to pause and say, “Wow! I didn’t see that coming!” or “Aha! I knew it all along!” or “Oh no! Now what will they do?”

To set up a proper Spark, you need an Inciting Incident. A Chekhov’s Gun. A Chandler’s Knock, or du Maurier’s Premonition—any way that you can think of to subtly foreshadow the upcoming “A-ha Moment” that is unique and interesting, yet doesn’t give away the Surprise.

What you can do to accomplish this is give away just a tiny piece—an odd quirk or fact in a seemingly insignificant scene that will nonetheless stick in the reader’s mind. Then when the Spark occurs they will want to go back and reread the parts of your story where the inciting incident occurred.

A Red Herring is another idea you can use to foreshadow a Spark. Or a MacGuffin, or a Redshirt. You know—something cool like that.

Enticing your reader with Inciting Incidents will not only help you to set up your Sparks, your reader will soon want to pick up on your little schemes, and follow the trail of breadcrumbs that you leave for them to follow. For you see, just dropping the Spark on your reader, with no lead up to the surprise, is kind of like propping a bucket of water on top of a door sill. Nobody likes that kind of surprise. They want to be surprised in a way that is fun, like if they’re walking through a haunted house with their friends on Halloween.

And oh gosh! I just love Halloween. Don’t you? The decorations, the candy, the lurking sense that something ridiculous is about to jump out at you…

That’s exactly how Sparks work. Once you’ve dangled the Inciting Incident as bait, your reader knows the Spark Monster is coming. They just don’t know which page it’ll leap from—or whether it’s carrying a trick, a treat, or a plot twist that makes them scream in delight. And when that “monster” turns out to be a key moment you’ve carefully hidden in plain sight, the surprise hits twice as hard.

Closing

Boo!

Did I get you?

Until next time,
Most sincerely yours,
R.D. Burger

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